12/29/2004 01:12:00 PM
By Reian
my life has entered the so-called "phase I" stage of adulthood...the stage where i mature spiritually...mentally and physically...
younger years swiftly passed by.....my moments on the tire swing, monkey bars, tee ball and kick ball even...gone....engraved in my heart...moments i will never forget...
kindergarten friends, the early years of elementary my first teachers....gym class...the reason i love PE...yeah memories never forgotten...memories i longed for but cannot go back...
new chapters are popping up constantly....blank pages...where time does all the writing...we ourselves simply fill in the blanks...
as we grow old...our book of life grows thicker and thicker....writing...turning...never closing...engraving the names of friends...loved ones...and enemies along the way...
Life has no meaning itself...but it's a wonderful feeling...
im no action star...no sports hero...im a normal filipino highschool student...but with the media clouding my thoughts of glamour and fame...what the heck have i done to my life!?
i just might be forgetting one thing,....you are who you choose to be...i can strive to be an actor if i really wanted to...i could own people in any sport if i really wanted to...but no....i chose this...i chose writing...i chose self-expression...being a gamer...audiophile (another term for music lover)...and anime lover...these are the sources of my opinions...my emotions..my perspective in life...where i get my inspiration in writing what i love...doing what i do...and doing my best in what i do ^_^.
im sweet sixteen and before i know it...my teenage life is gone...over...kapput...finished...gone forever...now...doing what i do...i don't know if i can say that i've wasted half my life with anime, music, friends, video games..when i could be studying or working just like my other classmates.....yeah im filled with privileges...i've been to numerous countries..been to disneyland..at least 8 states..i've been endowed with the latest technology...have wonderful friends a loving family...
but being the person that i am...have i taken those amazing things for granted?...were they all for nothing?
maybe yes...maybe no...but one thing's certain....they helped me become the person i am today..im no varsity...im no scholar...im nothing special either...im not any of those.....im reian
12/26/2004 01:13:00 PM
By Reian
hmm...been catching up with my games lately and these are my thoughts...(i just gotta post this)ok yeah been busy (yeah busy) im like on addict mode with video games the gamer inside of me just popped up like crazy!! actually this post really focuses on one game...that's Metal Gear Solid 3 :Snake Eater, ok ok maybe the whole Metal Gear and Metal Gear Solid series...MGS is this complexed series...complexed story...well the gameplay's awesome and the graphics are amazing...but still Hideo Kojima(the creator of MGS) has put in some sentimental values that blew me away!the first one (MGS) it gave me this value about life...the future...and passing on what is our legacy...the value of life, making our life worthwhile and doing what you were meant to do...Son's of Liberty(MGS2) on the other hand showed me how to build the future...preserve the past...living the life you adore so much...doing what you believed in...being the person you are and most of all never forgetting who we are inside...we can never be another person...staying true and pure...that's what really mattersSnake Eater (MGS3) although i haven't gone through it entirely...made me think about my principles and building one's emotion...having the sense of justice....sense of purity..doing what we all think is right. ok you must think im crazy now...but these are my building blocks...where i find my joy...my values...and even some inspiration...fans of this series must agree with me...i know we all felt the same thing...this is a powerful form of lecture plus...as we play we learn other principles...and view the world through a variety of perspectives...unleasing the beauty of communication...though life does not have a meaning itself..it does have a soul and with that we can find all the joy of life...cuz with that soul...that spirit...the so-called "life" that makes us who we arewe find the reasons why we live...why we fight, why we love and why do we never stop doing what we love to do...doing what we are all meant to do..doing what makes life significant...
12/22/2004 01:50:00 AM
By Reian
the annual school christmas party...is the day where you get to show angst, booyaness(riight booyaness?...) well you get to show off and shit...but in a good christmas spirit way... some ppl are broke some ppl are happy....but one thing's fo'sho...it's a happy happy day of celebration and....yeah i got presents and i was giving presents too
ok, in case you didn't know....im a highschool senior so this christmas party...may as well be my last... well yeah it's my last but...i wouldn't say i went all-out...(it's 12 midnight and i just got home hehe), so technically, the 21st of December, the day of my last christmas party....finally ended.
So yeah you bet im gonna post about this momentous day ^_^ ok, it all started well of course this morning...i woke up kinda late (intentionally cuz i have this rep on being fashionably late) i took my headphones off and got ready (BTW, i listen to rock when i sleep) well i really didn't know what to wear but....even though my shirt was gonna piss religious ppl i wore it....my "VIRIGNITY IS NOT DIGNITY (printed on front) IT'S JUST LACK OF OPPURTUNITY (printed on back)" and whoah....i was astonished, all the attention my shirt had and stuff (well when u think of it the saying's hilarious) ppl saying nice shirt, it's so true and asking where you got it? and for me...making ppl laugh is a great feeling...:D hmm well i came to school with one priority....get musicmatch on the class pc and save all the mp3s i burnt.....so i was like this music godsend :D...even tho our pc was being a bitch but neways....i got the pc fixed and my soundtrack were bangin....plus...was runnin everywhere to give out presents and all the ppl who love me gave presents too :D so all in all i had fun just like any other christmas party...
well my day doesn't stop there tho...in preparation for our game tomorrow "Bash Wednesday" Alphabeto vs. Team Phils. 10am-1pm Concepcion Plaza we played basketball from 1-3 pm (that's why i went home early) so yeah we got tired and stuff plus my legs were sore...so after the game Mer said "Star City tau" hehe so Me, Namay, Jenus, Carlo, and Mer went to my place(i needed cash i only got 3 on me) and..we were off to star city , well i had to bring my two young bros. cuz with them around i get more money ^_^....after bball--->star city....whooo!!!!
yeah the trip was fast....we got there faster than expected....thank god for my street smarts well i guess we all pitched in....
when we got there, we had the modus operandi *snickers* right guys!? ok we headed towards a small coaster that blizzard thingy...we got cut off so...mer and jenus didn't get to ride with us...we had fun ...then we went into this funny horror house we were laughing our asses off!! DUDE WE EVEN SAW FPJ!!! after that we ate and began our cunning plan *hehe* then we rode the xclone loop for 4 straight times....^_^ hehe the 1st time my 2 bros were too scared to ride...the 2nd time my youngest bro...we forced him to ride...when he was practially sitting in the car and was already locked up...he was crying and yelling that he wanted to get out...but after the loop he went whoo!! now my other brother...we forced him on the 3rd time..we problems there..he had fun too...and the 4th and final ride...i was feeling something in my leg...after the first huge drop i was having LEG CRAMPS!!! damn so unlucky!! when we headed towardsthe loop i wasn't holdin on to any railing...i was holding on to my leg!!!..my left leg is still aching...we saw other seniors there too but we each had our own plans.
ok we went into some more haunted houses and scared the shit out of some girls and we went on more rides we strolled, and bought stuff....then karma kicked in
my mom was supposed to pick us up * it was coding so she couldn't bring us* and we brought walkie talkies in case some of us got separated...so armed with mer's and carlo's low batt cells we decided to go home...ok my mom had another walkie talkie so if ever they're near...they'd radio us...jenus was in a hurry to go home (family issue) so we strolled around waiting for a radio and or text...for some time during our enjoyment, someone radioed us (the voices sounded like my mom and our driver) so we got out....but a text came in and said that they were still at navotas cuz of traffic...DAMN A GUY WITH THE SAME FREQUENCY!!! i was so pissed...
remember from a 2 hour basketball game we headed straight for star city...five of us were beat. so we tried to contact our fetchers as much as possible (jenus was panicking) but eventually....the cells died... so we were left with our walkie talkies and our street charm... we couldn't go back into star city, so we decided to go to the baywalk...after much radio buzzing...and talking to many ppl we eventually saw the van and headed home...
karma kicked in (can i still call it today?) but we had fun-fun....it was worth it and that was my last christmas party...
12/18/2004 10:53:00 PM
By Reian
Its Christmas time, again Its time to be nice to the people you cant stand, all year Im growing tired of all this Christmas cheer You people scare mePlease stay away from my homeIf you dont wanna get beat down Just leave the presents and then leave me alone
ahh the christmas season is getting closer and closer...more giving more caring and more presents...plus the bunjee jumping baby jesus (im going to hell for that ACK!)...
christmas for me is...spending time with the family...a day of good times and no worries...yeah...i love this season.
yeah this season compared to valentines...is the REAL day for love...the day jesus(not the bunjee jumping one from Late Night) but the bethlehem born godlike one (im so going to hell for this), It's this day of unity and a day where all are differences are taken away...that feeling gets better year by year :D.
here, the states...man the holiday season is like the biggest season of the year and this year 04' it's gonna be huge...
no matter what the difference in race, color, nationality..this season brings us all together...
Now im here to tell what christmas is about for me...i could say it straight to the point that it's all about the presents but that wouldn't bring justice to this post hehe...
but instead....christmas is a time for showing off and being the envy of all your friends (WTF!? strike 3 reian) nah nah...for real....the holiday season is about family and tradition, the tradtional meal, the reunion...the gift giving, going to church...TURKEY, horsin around with shadow(well not nowadays cuz she's huge), coco and buster..., my lil bros leaving cookies and milk for santa at my grandparent's fireplace, my older cousins being surprised that someone gave them an Xbox 3 years ago...no one admitted who did it (it must've been santa)...ahh those were memorable moments...
I was looking at past christmas photos last night and i laughed at some of the things i had....from barney stuff(now i despise that evil rabid purple dinosaur) to powerangers to nintendo games to the ps2 and ps2 games...now an ipod(i wish) and stuff :D
I remember when my dad and i chopped down an christmas tree once...damn that was hilarious...i was 6 and i was scared to death...and my grandfather whom i call pop always has this HUGE train set set up in the living room...one kiddie like (for kids to play) and this big one (a collectable expensive one) that goes around the living room...so cool...
now that's the thomas family during christmas...well i forgot to mention the part at dinner where my mom makes these awesome quebabs....my two cousins (those are my only 1st cousins at my dad's side we're like brothers when we hang out....even though we see em like once a year) kevin and brian...love em...they argue(well not anymore) about who gets the last one,HILARIOUS (im dead if they read this!!*gulp*)
now over here in the philippines...well you must know all the traditions, like the simbang gabi, kids carolling and stuff...it's an awesome colorful christmas....every one experiences the same thing...the JOY of christmas...no further ellaborations :p
hmm...now the thing that my family does differently is...we open our presents a night early!! :D we ALWAYS open em on christmas eve it's thomas family tradition...we've been doing it longer than i can remember....so that feels special for me...:D
ok since im making an christmas post i might as well write to santa:
Dear St. Nick,
I've been a good boy (define good) and all i want for christmas is for my dad to have a safe flight home...that's all i want...and merry christmas!
p.s oh and an ipod too...i want one of those silver ones (i messed with santa ACK!)
-love,
reian
12/17/2004 11:04:00 PM
By Reian
an inspirational and sad song by Evanescence
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces fallen, shatter
Shards of me, too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her and I bleed, I bleed
And I breathe, I breathe no more
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better
I know the difference between myself and my reflection
I just can't help but to wonder
Which of us do you love so I bleed, I bleed
And I breathe, I breathe no
Bleed, I bleed
And I breathe, I breathe
I breathe, I breathe no more
-www.letssingit.com(who said i didn't learn anything from research!)
12/17/2004 04:59:00 PM
By Reian
you ever thought about the things you are supposed to do and the things you were meant to do?
that's the wonder of life...God's almighty plan...it's also known as DESTINY, we can't determine such events, yet it pops up at the most unexpected situations...
some people experience it through death, luck...and sorrow even...
"i wanna do this i wanna do that but instead i did something completely unexpected...that shocked me and my family"... can i call that destiny?... "i had a huge crush on her since grade school but i ended up loving...someone different" is that a case of fate?...
...i have no idea why im talking about this ....really...
but in god's given plan....do i have more to hope for?...more to conquer?...ppl say that after happiness comes sorrow, and after sorrow comes happiness....Im VERY happy now and i admit i am REALLY lucky....but will regret the feeling of joy now and suffer in the future?...that'll be the day i fear most...
all the joyous days of senior year are numbered....less than 3 months and counting....damn i wish i could stop time...the triumphant days of batch 2005...soon draws to an end...
it's so hard to believe that 3 years ago i was in the lower year levels...I-Blessed Raymond (ok 3 years ago SJA's raymund....we called it raymond FYI for u underlings ^_^) under the wings of Mr.Michael M. Mercado i give you kudos sir!, 2 years II-St.Margaret under Mrs.Aldea...damn those were the days the dawn of the 3rd floor era ^_^ and just this past school year III-Mo.Francisca under the veteran Gng.Nuqui...now im IV-St.James(booya i got the rep of the school in my sec) under barrotti (hehe mrs.nancy barrot)...damn my highschool batteries are running out and im not ready to go yet...i've met so many friends...my batchmates all the lower years and all the teachers whom nourished my knowledge...they all have this special place in my soul...they made me who i am...watched as i grow...watch as i leave...though my body is away...my spirit always stays...
my barkada....my beloved barkada...ALPHABETO...it's so sad that we...the group who thought they were inseperable....finally....have different paths to take.
aped,pando,enchong,namay,von,enus,jd,mer, gui aka kuntil, al and me...(eff,or rf whatever ^_^)
still 3 months away but i feel 3 months is not enough....
again i ask...you know the difference between what you want to do and what you're supposed to do...is it fate that i've met so many ppl and shared practically my whole being during my highschool days that 3 months from now i'll be forced to let them go...instantly?....
life is cruel, fate is spontaneous and my life has only just begun.....
12/15/2004 09:25:00 PM
By Reian
this is pretty awkward for me to do but here goes...
ok i got exams tomorrow and right now im feeling a wee confident and stuff but, i keep having this thought that tells me that my hardest isn't hard enough...
is it cuz im forced to do thing that surpass my capabilities since im (accidentally) included in the CREAM section?? damn i feel so inferior compared to them and it makes me feel VERY and i mean VERY insecure...
do i need to change who i am ( the person inside which many of my friends adore) just to fit it? hell no!! i know i'll still remain the charming (yeah) happy person outside, the music loving, laptop weilding, net junkie, gaming guru that i am...
well i still remain the same person outside but...i've changed inside...looking back at past posts (not in this blog cuz i post shit here but on forums) i saw how childish my words are and...all the typos i made..(ick!)...i look at my past works in school and compared them to my work now...i change every year...i grow more and more, bit by bit...
i went on this retreat (it's like this badass spiritual thingy sorta like camp but ...y' know...spiritual) last month and it gave me a new perspective in life...i had a chance to listen to my friends' stories and i saw how lucky i really am...i mean this girl...yeah she was REALLY smart and she got all this attention at school and stuff...but she had a broken heart and said..."my family doesn't really appreciate me.."
and that was VERY shocking...VERY...c'mon...all that attention in school and no attention from your own family...harsh reality, im lucky...yeah i do ONLY get average grades and sometimes lower...but i know im lucky and that there are people in my life who like me for who i am...for what i do...i got loving parents, awesome brothers and bonded friends..i wouldn't ask anything more...i know i don't have to be in or pressured...being different...sticking out and most of all being yourself..that's what really matters most
