hmm....poured so hard this morning and being exhausted from last night...i decided to take a break from school....

i know i could've done more and probably just went to the "enigma" party but no....i didn't, i just stayed home and rested...hate this MIT quarterm...

...ahh 8 months...last time i posted on the 28th of a month was in april...*i think*well here goes...
hehe my thoughts are pretty clouded right now...and i can't express myself clearly but i'll try my hardest...

being in my first ever relationship with someone i really like...made me think..."what should i do"? or "am i doing this right?"...but as it progressed i soon figured out that there are no rules...and all you need to remember was... 1. love her and 2.be yourself....that's why she fell inlove with you in the
first place...was because u were being yourself....

whenever you're with her you feel ever so happy....soon you realize that you're happiest at that same moment....and feel so incomplete when you part...

then you start talking to her on the phone nonstop....at night, during the day...even early mornings...you feel comfort whenever you hear her voice....and then you soon feel that you can't go a day without talking to her...

....love is like that....

ups and downs are also a factor....
you win some...you lose some...having to understand everything....understanding that she can't always be free, she can't always be there for you...you cant always spend time with her no matter how much you miss her.....
it has limitations you must follow.....forcing you to wait.....sometimes longer than expected...

there are disappointments and they really can be heartbreaking....but those are "challenges" i guess that we must overcome....even if your prayers aren't answered...

mistakes you've made come and haunt you....and you really start regretting them by the moment...when this occurs you can't sleep .... feel as sorry as possible for the sin committed...

well...that's how i felt the past 8 happy months....
sorry for the crappy present tricia....for all the mistakes i've made and all the times i wasn't there for you...for the disappointments and everything...

thank you for the love....love you alot ^^ i miss you too...happy monthsary...

a cross i bear within i fight,
i've lost to darkness,said goodbye to light.
i drift endlessly and wait for despair...
for the patience of death i tempt to dare...

i look above the dark night sky,
for all i've been was one big lie...
i am nothing and nothing i shall be
only my dissappearance can comfort me...

i wish it to end my suffering begone...
i do not want to see another new dawn...
i'm hated by many...by family and friends...
no one to turn to my own wounds i mend...

no comfort of loved ones, so cold and alone...
in solitude i live, my dark skills i hone...
i fight my sorrow and suppress my pain...
my tears as they fall my effort in vain...

my heart is bleeding, my feelings i write
my tormented mind foresaw my plight...
this melancholy poem may be my last...
for before a new day i am part of the past...

it took me quite a while to think up a new topic to write about...my thoughts have been clouded lately...there are ups and downs...laughter and tears....oh, and a long commute home...

when you think about society it's always been divided yes? the rich, the poor, the middle, the inner filling...you're either one or the other...the so-called "status symbol" everyone looks at....you wear this brand you buy there, you eat here, drink coffee there...it's what everyone looks at...it's pretty pathetic to judge people for what they wear, where they eat or what they have...just remember the immortal saying, " dont judge a book by it's cover"...

society's pretty messed up nowadays...families are divided into localities, it's either you're in the urban city "barangay" or in a high security "subdivision"...that doesn't stop there... in the barangays you're either legit or in the "squatters area"....
kids are classified into "educated" or "not educated"....
schools are classified into "public" or "private"....
and believe me it goes on...

actually...i didn't intend to write about "society" as a whole in this post...i'll write about that later on...
i spend lots of time at my school lately during my break i realized something....

it has come to my thought that there are a bunch of classifications of students...not just in MIT but in any school...
i'll give out all i can for now...
here i go :

*the scholars - yeah they're the perfect start...smart kids that pay less tuition because of their scholastic achievement...rock on scholars!!

*the nerds - ok ok these type of people have no social life whatsoever...they know one topic and one topic alone....school...they're the type of guys that'll correct your every mistake...answer your every question...
-nerds have 2 classifications in my books :
a. smart-ass - they'll correct you alright...they'll make you look like an idiot too....
b. nice - self explanatory....

*the jocks - ahh they ever-so-loving sports heroes of the school...the varsity players...i dunno but it seems like if you're a player for your varsity team...it's kinda like an elite title...

side note: i dunno why stereotypically, jocks are the dumb sports buffs that think they're kings or the pretty boy heart throb that are always shown in teen movies....modern jocks (at least the ones i know) arent really like that...

*the snobs - self explanatory...mostly made up of girls...the group who *think* that they are the prettiest among the bunch...

*the plastics - hehe a relative of the "snob species" well this group composes of people that think they're hot but in reality they wont admit it...people that are full of lies that they've lost their true identity within them...(i could've just put this in the "snobs" section but i want to make this post longer hehe) just watch mean girls i guess...(i havent hehe)

*the student council - the government within one campus...you get the idea....

*the dancers - you guessed it...they dance...

*the journalists - cant have a school paper without em....

*the actors - do i even have to type!?

*the singers - ....guess what they do....

*lovers - yeah those who go to school not only for the fine education but for love aswell hehe

*the techies - ahh the techies....the computer guys, the people you run to when your pc acts funny...guys that have mp3 players and laptops *looks in the mirror*...nuff of these guys...hehe

*gamers - every school has gotta have a large population of gamers...guys that can talk for hours on end about final fantasy or tekken...you a name a game...they know em...

*otakus - haha there are also alot of anime junkies out there...anime...anime....anime...w00t!! people who live and breathe anime :D...

*book worms - people who escape reality by book...:D

*class clowns - guys that love making the class laugh...at any occassion....ANY!!!

*perverts - they are real....unfortunately...

*class dunce - slow learners.....SLOW!! hehe harsh...

*lazy bastards - they love doing work...NOT!

*stereotypes - ....you know what they are...

*bullies - the lowest of all animals....those pathetic wretched big boned morons....


no matter how much you think of it we are what we are ...see which class you are in...( no biggie you can be in whatever class you wish... an otaku/gamer/lover or an scholar/gamer)
hehe that's all i can think up right now....if you want me to add some stuff feel free to comment or uhmm tag...:D

it seems like i only get to post once a month nowadays hehe...i've been down in the dumps for a while now...my whole break feels...worthless...

it starts out with me failing both my math class...i did try and i know i tried all i could to pass but it wasn't enough.....i'm just dumb when it comes to math...i stink...
i've been down about that and i kept thinking about it all week but...i only feel more sorrow...it's like im being pulverized inside...

now, this term i get to take up trigonometry and college algebra again....damn....

it doesn't stop there though....
emotionally and personally it gets worse...

have you ever waited for something for so long only to find out that you'll only have to wait longer?....well to keep it simple you wait and build up excitement for something only to get disappointed in the end...you know that feeling right?...

that's how i feel at the moment....

i try everyweek and lately everyweek....it's always a "no"....yeah i do get upset and i try with all my might to keep a positive perspective on things....weeks pass by and still i get a no...it always ends with an "im sorry" and me saying,"it's ok" but why does my heart feel crushed?...
heck for a guy like me...i even cry at night...
i keep wondering why?....or what i have done wrong...or how life's unfair...or maybe it's karma...the thing is what did i do to deserve this?...

i guess ron was right....it's really hard for a guy to show his true feelings.....or is it because i've learned to keep everything to myself...

why do i wait only to end up waiting longer?...it's hard...and it's not exactly getting easier...it gets harder by the day...

as i've posted before....waiting is life's essence....all i can do is wait longer....

i guess i'll have to keep trying then...:)

sorry about the messed up entry fellas...it's just...i had to let it out...even if it were by means of jumbled words

a new month and my friends, it's time for a new post. College has been great, tough, but great....new friends new classes and new hardships...*sigh* im starting to miss highschool but this is way better...

well now time for a new post...one thing that irritates me always are friends that "call" you a friend but actually want something in return...something for school, money, a favor...it's so pathetic...it's better off saying "lets be friends cuz your so smart" or "you have money i'll stick with you"...hmm the funny thing is...some of my closest friends are like that heck they told me once..."you're our friend cuz you have money" they told me that was a joke but heck that hurt...but...there are times where it's too much but there are times where i owe them alot...

my barkada:
ok for most of the jamers that read this and know me somehow...we call ourselves "alphabeto" i have no idea why but we just did...
we consist of talented individuals and weird wacky guys....oh...we all eat alot too (ask my mom)
our team builds up of:

Arron Merjudio - to us he's "ukab" hehe this guy's my so-called "pakner" we do everything together. he's this lazy in academics but electrifying at basketball guy.we go mall hopping and movies yeah i also miss those RO days of ours he spends lots of time at my house and we play ps2 and or RO...he's now a tamaraw and studies at FEU (far eastern university)

Jenus Bautista - hmm "enus" for short he's the journalist in our group...he had this column in our senior year school paper...he's this basketball addict he got game but i wont say so otherwirse hehe...he spends alot of time here i remember once, he spent the night here but he had to work on his group paper till 12 midnight, he came to our house around 1 am everyone's sleeping....believe it or not he climbed up our terrace!!! hehe oh and before i forget of all the guys in our barkada he eats the most!!!w00t everytime at dinner whenever we eat he's the first to sit and last to stand up!! hehe i owe this guy alot...well i guess it's vice versa...thanks man!!! hehe he won that character portrayal contest in our senior...he's a great actor..he played poseidon...he also studies at FEU.
just dont abuse what you have, enus...:)

Von Laderas - he's a multi-talented mofo with a wacky attitude , he's the comedian in our group and my brother. we spent more than half of our highschool life together, yeah....ever since our 2nd year of highschool he's always at my house...we do everything together, the mall, a whole day of RO or PS, projects even if we are different sections. he's my parents' "adopted" son hehe, he's the point guard at basketball hehe as he always says. we go to school together in our sophomore and junior years. i remember watching either "the simpsons" or "cooking master boy" before going to school hehe at times we get to school late hehe. he also has tons of absences per quarter...he has his so-called "sked" hehe mousetr@p w00t!!!! he was the only one that had a case of arson in our group!! hehe it was wacky but funny!!..he has this impact on everyone because of his "kulitness"-_- (hehe yeah tricia, i made up my own word again!) he's in cavite now and he studies at EAC (emilio aguinaldo college) miss ya von! and take care of khate!! hehe

Lorenz Talal - ahh if you want a chinese man with you he's the guy! we call him enchong or simply chong, his shots on the court are sure balls!! he can make the basket even with his eyes closed!! seriously!! he likes superman...in fact he likes him alot!! he studies hard....and follows the rules...whenever we get in trouble...he doesnt....awkward...-_-...we both like the misads of maverick and ariel...he's maverick and im ariel....we had this contract in 3rd year that i get to kill him on sept 22 2004 ...but we had no school that day so...he gets to live....hehe he now studies at MCU (Manila Central University)

Marco Manio - otherwise known as "pando" hmm he has this badboy attitude and he's the chick magnet...damn even gay guys dig him! he's this romantic guy that cares ever so much for his "shayne" i remember whenever we go home together he asks me "mayaman na daan" or "mahirap na daan"? hehe because i spend an extra 10 php if i chose the "mayaman na daan"...he quiet but he pranks are retarded yet hilarious at times....he cuts up these bandages eveyday to cover his pimples....EVERYDAY! ...he loves the coke float....everytime we eat at mcdonald's he orders a float hehe...he a big guy and plays great basketball...kudos to him!! hehealong with enchong he also studies at MCU now...

Jonathan Namay - i remember back in our freshman year people always thought we were brothers. Namay was always this happy fellow...just dont get on his bad side...hehe...he rocks in basketball and he's pretty corny with his jokes...he's a proud FEU tamaraw now hehe...

Alfredo Raymundo - he's pretty cute...others know him as this clown jester...hehe and he's a pretty good actor too...he always talked about being a pilot someday and yeah...he might even become one...kudos aped kudos! studies at airlink

Carlo Guitones - ahh now here's a guy that has a this magic bodypart that everyone loves...he and his magic kuntil...he's a kickass dancer and...has a pretty hard time with the ladies but heck...he's adorable in his own weird way...also studies at FEU

well this is the only things i can say for the moment...hehe till next post

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/chrono_leonheart/Could_It_Be.mp3

i was walking around luneta with my family the other night and something bothered me....

i look around and at every direction i see homeless people....some with kids alot were senior citizens...reality and it's cruelty have shown...poverty is rampant everywhere...i pity them but i dont help...i feel powerless...but i have power....it's strange in a way that morality is taught in schools but unless we are obligated to perform these acts of charity we do nothing..
think about it..think of your school and how every student acts, we do these things because we are graded you wouldn't see every jamer give away their clothes to some kid....nor a mapuan give his daily allowance to a beggar...we somehow contradict to the very teachings of morality itself....it's not just the students but also the teachers. see the school , in order to fund their charitable events they smooch off of their students...it's publicity...there are only a few good people that still live for virtue...the others they're obsessed with material things...

i admit i am not one of those people....im not righteous, im no saint...i have material possessions and i live of off technology...it's awful to admit that the only thing i can give to the less-fortunate is my sympathy....therefore i consider myself.....lucky....

poverty...you can only blame poverty on greed...the way i see it..people from provinces go to the city for one thing and one thing only.....MONEY...they go to cities to find better work and live fabulously like the icons they see on tv...only to figure out that no one would take them in...in other words...they were DEAD WRONG...with no one to turn to they stay on the streets they get a low pay job and struggle in living off of that...back in the provinces they eat 3 meals a day NOW they barely have 1 full meal....it's pathetic...filipinos aren't content making them prone to failure....

poverty leads to injustice and injustice leads to chaos...oki i've played too much dynasty warriors...

:: how nintendo are you? ::

it's amazing on how simple things can make you smile...the green grass, the blue sky, an e-card, a blog comment, someone you don't like being chased by a flying cockroach (errr)....life's simplicity is its purity...

the feeling of contentment is something God has always reminded us....be thankful for what you have...right? we dont need to ask for more techie stuff (why am i feeling guilty now? hehe) nor be all green-eyed with someone...you need to think "what do i have that he doesn't?" always think about that...whenever you feel jealous with someone think of something he or she can never take away from you...a loved one...your identity....your gift...

anyways back to simplicity....

simple things can make people happy and at times can make them cry right?..it's like me getting my my cardinal plus ID hehe i was almost jumping for joy...i was like "dude lets go out and come back in again, i wanna try out my id!" hehe as shallow it may seem that made me happy....or whenever i open my mailbox and find out that someone had left me an e-card at that moment i feel loved and of course happy hehe...and the occassional hug can do me just fine...:)
why do simple things make me happy?
because im a simple guy...

i know to eat plain food every now and then...heck i love lugaw i know when to share and do ridiculous weird things with friends...heck i know when to squeeze in when the lrt is packed...im simply myself...i dont copy anyone nor pretend to be something im not

it's like when i read this entry from malin's blog...(malin's a friend i met on animetribe) it was about her bus rides from and to her school...and all of her so-called "awkward moments" she mentioned in one part hte pride she felt when she got to her school without any assistance...
i know the feeling....i jumped for joy when i reached mapua IT center in makati on my own...no matter how shallow it may seem....it was a big deal for me and malin....

simplicity has its own beauty...simple gifts, simple smiles, we live this life not knowing how rich we really are

hmm i've posted a new song for my blog here's the lyrics

it's a college post hehe ok...here goes....

hmm....Im a freshie college student....i go to mapua institute of technology (makati campus) so technically im officially a mapuan w00t hehe a mapuan hehe im a jamer/mapuan w00t hehe....

my first week in mapua ...well it's full of ups and downs...i have fun and the occassional frustration and the endless laughs hehe...

hmmm it's all good IMO all the ppl at AT4 apparantly we dont all know each other yet but we're getting there...i've become close to lotso ppl now...hehe we hang out here and there and chill at the tables outside our beloved room...it's crazy i use my cell alot in class hehe i go out without permission and laugh out loud during lessons....NOTHING LIKE HIGHSCHOOL....hehe hmmm ok i'll end this short post now...im not that creative at this moment

im starting to hate my life....i put out lots of effort...i do everything i can...i come early...i finished everything...i came expecting to have a very good time.........but life screws me over...

this always happens....why is it whenever a friend invites me over i come, invites me to go out i come...and eveytime it's my turn to invite them...oftentimes they bail...they say they have other plans...i've always ignored how my friends disappoint me when they do that...

the pathetic thing is....it always happens to me...

today was no excemption...i finished my homework so i wouldn't worry about anything else...i came early...i came there expecting to spend time with her......i was dead wrong....

they were inviting me to her friend's bday...i was like why?... i wanna spend time with her and her alone....what am i going to do in a gathering?...i'd feel out of place...i wouldn't have a good time...i finished my homework the whole morning for me to get permission for her to come...i was stood up....again.....

even though it meant A WHOLE LOT to me if she came with me....i said no....it's her friend's bday the friend that she cares about so much...i couldn't take her away....either one of us was going to get hurt....it was better that it were me...

i love her so much.....i miss her alot too.....the sad thing is...no matter how hard i try...it seems like i cant spend time with her.....this always happens to me......why!?

another ruined day in the life of reian....no one cares about me anyway.....

all the sadness i've felt yesterday...drifted away...im getting my nerves psyched up for my first day of college!!! w00t w00t!! hehe all my friends have all ready started and all the guys that go to my college have started aswell...i on the other hand have no classes on mondays so i have an extra day of summer....

anyway, if there's something we've learned growing up our parents and teachers have always reminded us be ourselves...i've written about acceptance a week ago...now it's about accepting one's self...

we live in this world that thrives perfection...we have beautiful people on the big screens, t.v's and magazines...let's face it...they're beautiful and some of us look up to them...but people like us?..the ordinary students, the bloggers, the simple people...we aren't them, we are much better people...we are ourselves...when we get angry, we show our anger, when we are happy and we show that we're happy, when we are sad we show that we are sad....we are imperfect, we are truly the creations of god....

then again there are people that don't like showing who they really are...people that hide behind masks, demand that they are perfect and in the process irritate other people...AGAIN my acceptance theory has made it's mark...what's the point in living that way anyway!?...it happens alot in high-school i tell you that much...but it only lasts till high-school's over...
ok since im feeling a bit happy go-lucky let's make a character to make fun of...hmm...let's call her "joan-a"...

joan-a : hi im joan-a

so joan-a is that typical snobbish bi0tch that shows signs of jealousy and is a frikin bad liar...aren't ya joan-a?

joan-a: "yes i am...im a naughty slutty hoe that hates my life so i tend to make other's lives miserable...i tend to lie alot too...that's because i a love telling stories about how great my life is...all the pretend guys that i make up love me in everything i do..."

that's the spirit joan-a! show us your true colors and how you really feel inside...see ain't being yourself fun!?...

joan-a:"it sure is!"

you make friends and friends accept you for who you are right? why change for the worse? something good happens to your friend.....why do you get jealous? aren't you happy for him or her? aren't you supposed to be a good friend?....this goes on and on and believe me it only gets worse...

hmm so joan-a ..tell me, are you the type that gets jealous?....

joan-a:"i sure am!! *giggles* i am flirty and a retard and guys hate me so i assume a guy likes me and i pretend that he loves me"

ahh so you are desperate for love like my friend carlo guitones?i pity you so much right now....you are so pathetic...i'm glad you are so made-up *insert smirk here*

hmm ok that's pathetic really....those who force love...an infatuation to a whole new level that isn't love at all...hmm are they THAT desperate that they need to make up stuff?...like carlo and his other half milka?...hmm i guess another layer is added to the mix of joan-a's plastic facial...
why rush love and be unhappy?...hmm...im no love expert but at least i dont force people to love...


next lets talk about friendships again..

friends, as they say are forever...true...but what kind of friend are you? dont say that you are a true friend...since it's easier said than done...dont say you're a good friend cause there's no exact definition for that...how can you tell if you're either of the two?...ask your friend yourself...if you've been true to your word..and admitted your mistakes i guarantee you that he/she will tell you what you really want to hear but if you're like this bitch joan-a here...better get some tissues and cry all you want for all i care...

it's not a matter of giving or taking...it's a matter of both...he cant be good to her alone or vice-versa they need to be good to each other...friendships are a terrible thing to waste....

i hope you've learned your lesson now joan-a...

joan-a: "i hope so too"

be true to yourself...that's all this world needs..we dont need anymore J.los nor britneys no shaqs nor t-macs...we need you...i hope this message gets out...

it's not about you all the time nor how you feel...think about your friends how you treat them and how they treat you...treat them nice...they'll treat you nice...everything should work vice versa...no more masks and lies...we shouldn't always TAKE nor should we always GIVE...we should give and take...this is reian uhmm just posting regularly on his blog...OUTTIES!

that feeling of disappointment is always...sad...no one likes getting disappointed....no one...
one thing i've learned all my life is that i shouldn't expect too much of myself, my friends and my family...otherwise i'd get hurt...

i dunno...i guess it was my fault..did i ask for too much?...i was looking forward to this day...and now i realize i shouldn't have...i've been down...it's like every spec of happyness i felt when i woke up this morning fluttered away...and uhmm to tell u the truth i even cried...my last sunday free...i was planning to have a great time...i was completely wrong...

i expected too much...i ended up hurting myself...

-peace out..

Carrie Underwood..

inside your heaven

inside your heaven duet w/ bo bice

inside your heaven live *warning it's cut*


new found glory

my heart will go on

My current Desktop AGAIN!! hehe as of 07/06/05
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perfect- To you, your girlfriend is the most
important person in your life, you would do
anything for her, and that's why, you're the
perfect boyfriend. Some girls would kill to
have a boyfriend like you, one that always
knows how to make a girl feel special. You
rock! ^0^


What kind of boyfriend are you? (for guys! with pics!^0^)
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Crispin Boyer's 1UP Blog: WWII games and movies: Not even close...

it's pretty amazing ...this WWII story...read it...

my reaction:
i feel that we don't appreciate vets that much.....filipino, american...a soldier is a soldier no matter what..they are the guys who risked there lives for our safety....kudos to all vets!! you all fought well!!....

it's not just vets..think of the soldiers with the fear of death everyday they wake up...those who fight for us to live in a safe world....on both sides....
i quote squall leonhart of final fantasy VIII, "Right and wrong are not what separates us from our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views."

there's no right or wrong anywhere on the battlefield....we all think we're right they think they're right...battles are meaningless

been thinking lately....
i think about my past year and all the happy times i've celebrated and bad times i've endured...all the memories...some make me laugh,some make me cry, some gave me a reason to smile, some i try to forget...
ironically i was listening to punk rock songs via my player...one thing caught my attention...it was a random playlist and when "perfect" by simple plan played...i began pondering...

the song it's basically all about acceptance...a dilemma of every kid...especially teenagers...making your parents proud of you and...them accepting the fine person you are now...i know the feeling...it's tough...because sometimes parents dont think of their child as a young adult...they think of him as a...child. daddy and mommy just can let go of their little girl....they cant help the fact that their son has grown...im not entirely sure about this...im a kid myself im no parent.

when you think about it...life is almost all about acceptance (great reian first wait now acceptance!?) really....think about it...ok for seniors, they live in fear of not getting accepted to their college of choice right!? for actors they fear not getting accepted for the part, for athletes they dream to be accepted by the pros, for guys courting they long for the girl's acceptance (that one was for my friend carlo)

in the end during the afterlife we pray for our acceptance in the kingdom of heaven....

we want to be accepted no matter what the cost...it's like everyone wants to be accepted by fame, love, wealth, you name it one person wants it....

more importantly...you would want your friends to accept you for who you are..not to be ashamed or be afraid of you when he sees someone....but to tell the world that your friends...no secrets no shame no fear...

it's like this one movie "guess who" (yeah i've used it twice in my blog) this guy wanted to be accepted by his girlfriend's family...and lied in hilarious ways.....see even movies show this kind of thinking...

think about what i've just written...then irony'll take over...you'll see my point...

that wraps it up....

it's still my summer break, although my friends are all busy with school...im still here doing pre-college tasks and hanging around...watchin anime, reading manga etc. as i was watching anime and playing my games...i've realized one thing....almost all the great warriors of the anime and game world have one thing in common....they have "nothing to lose".

think about it...look at dante from devil may cry...or solid snake from metal gear solid, look at the white cross from weiss kruez, or the early hitokiri battousai(kenshin himura) from rurouni kenshin, jin and mugen form samurai champloo,heero of gundam wing,...the list goes on, no family nor love interest no reason to exist but to fight...it's acts of boldness and bravery without thinking twice...building up character having that unbeatable ego...defining the term "badass".

something that starts out with the words "justice" and "freedom" with a dash of "power"...starting out simple of defining something to fight about and fighting for it until it gets the better of him. sooner or later he has a conflict with himself like kenshin and kira yamato (gundam seed).

others thirst for vengeance...they have nothing to lose because they have lost everything, look at sasuke from naruto as a prime example, his family was murdered and he made it his goal to avenge them...in fact alot of the comic book super heroes thrive for vengeance, spider-man, batman, the punisher to name a few.

others atone for a sin they have commited, like the white cross from weiss kruez, chrno from chrno crusade, and the prince from the prince of persia.

while others have vengeance and atonement on their minds there are some that have conflicts with their past like a broken promise, a bloody past, felony, or being framed, examples of these is zechs marquese(gundam wing), mwu la fllaga, rala kruze(both from gundam seed) and the two swordsmen from samurai champloo jin and mugen.

although they all fight for what they believe in....they fight for their own cause...there are still...that fight because...of the love of it dante, solid snake and splinter cell's sam fisher do it for the passion...

at first, they all seem unstoppable right? no, in fact every man has his weakness...this is where a quote from katsura kogoro (samurai x vol. 1 trust) is appropriate he said, "every sword needs a sheath". the sword is the warrior...and of course the sheath is someone dear to him.

ahh yes...everyone's weakness....love...it can turn the inhumanlike of all creatures soft... even the most deadly and brutal being into a harmless one...kenshin had his tomoe...she made him happy for the first time in his life, chrno has his rosette where she can stop his demonic rampage, recca has his yanagi giving him the will to fight, kira yamato has his lacus cline,she comforts him in his time of need. the list goes on...

love, in it's comforting ways can harness this power that can either give a stronger will to fight or lose the will to fight...either way it brings eternal happiness...

a guy's ego can get the best of him at times....one's rage in fighting can lead him to his paramount...but how can you stop an angered sword once the battle is finished?...only one person has the power......his sheath...

i may be wrong on some parts...so if you have any reactions...good or bad...feel free to leave thins entry a comment...^_^

here's the song every heart by BoA! click! remember right click and save target as....kk..enjoy!

here's some local bands
OPM

Hale - the day you said goodnight

MYMP - tell me where it hurts

my current desktop
Posted by Hello

my birthday's today....and of course it's a very special day for this dark, kakashi-fanboy blogger...hehe i feel so relaxed and...yeah of course i grow a year older, i had a party a few hours ago...friends and family came ...there are some that made it, some that didn't, some were early, some were late...some stayed awhile while some had to go....all those aside i had a blast...

it was kinda different this year...i was getting greetings from lots of different people...some i knew some i dont really know...some i was introduced but i dont really talk to them...even the guys i play socom online with IMed me on messenger and greeted me happy birthday ^^

the party was fun, some of my friends came..... Ukab came EARLY around 2 pm we played an hour of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 and i OWNED him completely i love my wolverine, ken and ryu tag team (i only needed ken and ryu though) and Lorenz and Namay came around 3 pm....around 4 pm i was supposed to pick Tricia up from school which was supposed to be me ONLY...but hehe the group had to come with hehe...we picked her up and on the way to my house we overloaded this tricycle....hehe u have me, my bro jr and tricia inside , namay and my other bro dj behind the driver, and lorenz hanging at the back and ukab hanging from the side...i thought the tricycle was goin to give!! we laughed so hard!!! when we got home hehe ok back to our posts we played marvel vs capcom 2 again while others went online and horsed around....well...Tricia had to go home early so I accompanied her home ^_^ (im a nice guy) .....when i got back jenus has arrived and the room was a mess...damn i was gone for 20 mins and that happens....afterwards we started eating we ate alot hehe and uhmm von called to wish me a happy bday...and after that they all left...my friends... i got tired and stuff...i was happy spendin time with triica and my friends...uhmm im kinda tired ryt now so till next tym

someone requested the thousand arms theme song so here it is...:)) ayumi hamazaki's depend on you
once again right click and save target as....

ok uhmm for the past download...sorry some say it didn't work...so here's a new one simpleandclean

all you have to do is right click and save as...kk enjoy
once again it's utada hikaru's simple and clean...long version in english
here's something cute for your enjoyment as well KIRBY!!

all our lives we've been waiting....literally...it's either waiting for the bus, waiting for the bell to ring, waiting to grow up...waiting for summer break...yeah..when you think of it we've waited for everything...funny aint it?

well actually i decided to write about this cuz of deep thinking...and i came out with the realization that..it's pretty funny how much life is about wait...i agree that we should take charge of out own lives but....in the meantime..during our young years when we are still at the grasp of our parents...growing we wait...we wait...we wait and wait...it's like the goal of life is to figure out how to live your life while waiting for death....living is this time gap between birth and death....before any of you contradict to what i have just said..think about it...we're all going to the same path, we all start the same and we will all end the same way...life is merely the long wait and how productive you can be...i don't see the point..but...for now that's the meaning of life right there...we all wait....to meet our maker...

dont get me wrong...i dont mean it as a bad thing or anything...i dont think life is pointless or...meaningless...during our wait...while living...we find out what makes our wait worthwhile...we form bonds by forms of friendship, family, enemies...and loved ones...and they give us the strength to live...
the stronger the bonds the stronger the will to survive is......sooner or later we would realize....that we dont want any of this to end....wishing that death was not real....and that the road of life was a bumpy never ending one...making the wait harder than expected...giving you the urge to live your life to the fullest..
it's either fulfilling a dream, spending it with your loved one, timeless trips with friends, proving something, any reason is a good reason to live...
im only posting from thought...i have no resources whatsoever...everything i've written is my opinion alone...till next post...later

Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.


What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

the start the june...the very first day marks off my last month of vacation and boy! it's been one helluva day! well, all the problems i had 2 days ago...washed away and...im fresh...im happy im me again! hehe

well yesterday, everything fell into peices...the puzzle that was shattered on the 30th game back togather on the 31st...i was willing to forget the incident and move on...starting anew and filling happy memories as i move...ok, we went to laguna yesterday...we went to this resort..."la vista pansol" hehe we've been going there yearly for almost 5 years now...we like it there...so dad made reservations on monday and totally forgot my sagala on tuesday...no biggie though...although they say that the girl i was supposed to escort was uber cute...that much attention doesn't suit me...
so anyways, we head off to pansol yesterday and spent the night there...we swam and messed around a bit...went down the slide a few times..and swam some more..swam during a thunder storm and..swam a whole lot more...hehe

ok...we had fun and i woke up this morning eagerly counting the hours till tricia's bday party/get-together...i was afraid that i wouldn't be there on time since we left laguna around 10:30 am...and we were supposed to meet around 12:30 noon....yeah plus i had to get dressed and stuff...i was scared till we had excellent timing nearing roxas blvd. around 11:30am i thought that i could still make it...until dad decided to pickup my cousin kevin's suit somewhere in quezon city...i was like "WHAT!?" but couldn't react...we got stuck in traffic we entered the dreaded street known as "ESPANYA" hehe so yeah got to the tailor around 12:30 (the time i was supposed to meet tricia) and...i almost lost all hope till i called her....maybe she loves me or...maybe it's just coincidence but...she told me that they would leave at 1:00 pm...i was shocked!! all the hope i lost returned and we sped through traffic coming home...once on the ground on the front gates of our house i ran towards the bathroom and took a nice fast shower(ok i still took a shower it may have been fast but it was still hygenic...) i ran out put some clothes on "neatly" and called tricia to say im on my way...:)
i did make it in time and...i was kinda embarassed for them having to wait for me but...yeah...i was glad i got to spend time with her 2 days before her special day...like an advanced celebration....so we got to the doughnut shop and we did arts n crafts : hehe...my dinosaur rocked!! and we ate doughnuts and...they were yummy too...ok...after that...we headed home...well tricia wanted me to give some doughnuts to my family (hehe...she did me one better...cuz honestly im not the "pasalubong" kind of guy*im so ashamed*) hehe once i got home they ate em all...and they really liked it...so...hehe wow more cello customers :)).... right now im beat...i barely have my eyes open and ims till in front of the pc chatting and writing on this...maybe i'll rest for a bit...so...anyways my day went great....and wow im happy again :)

today has been a dark dark day...yesterday was great we went to von's house blessing in cavite i saw jenus, ukab and namay and of course von and we played basketball and fooled around, even my cousin kevin joined the fun...coming home we rode at the back of the pickup truck we helped two mormons and the trip from cavite coming home we laughed, sang songs and talked...i had my friends over afterwards, jenus and namay eventually went home while ukab spent the night...i had a blast yesterday...i talked to trish..had fun with my friends and..it was a great day
Sunday now is eventually part of history, today has been tearful for me...i'll fill you all in...

as i said, ukab spent the night...we were fooling around earlier after we woke up then we decided to get some food from downstairs...that time my parents were printing these pictures..but the noticed we were short of photo paper and i being the pc guy i am tried to compress them, my first attempt were failures and...eventually we found some more photo paper...we could've just printed it on word which kevin already made but mom wanted it to look differently..she said "where's the document!?" i said "it's on the task bar" she started yelling more...then she wanted to open powerpoint she kept yelling and yelling that she cant find it...i told her "mom it's there it's easy to find "she yelled somemore...that irritated me and somewhat hurt my feelings...there i was with my friend and i was only trying to help and there my mom was yelling at me for no good reason...i eventually took over and opened it for her i uttered the simple phrase because of annoyance and a simple fact "i told you it was simple" after that she turned towards me and started hitting me with the heels of her shoe...i was yelling "why mom!!?" "why do you always yell at me!?it hurts!!" dad got angry and hugged her to stop her from hitting me...she struggled a bit and they talked...i was in tears since then... they talked for a bit then dad called me up...i told my mom everything, i poured my heart out all my feelings...what i've wanted to say for a long time...EVERYTHING...dad agreed with me...mom had too much pride, she doesn't care how other's feel when she yells at people, she has a short fuse...and in public places she tends to embarass me and my brothers with her bragging and nagging...

i like it better when dad talks to me except mom...everytime i make a fault...dad talks to me in a sincere manner...he knows how i feel and understands me...i love my dad very much...after our talks im usually in tears but i do learn my lesson everytime...my mom on the other hand...im either left annoyed or more angered inside...

my dad doesn't deserve how my mom treats him...he's loving and caring...he's a good samaritan and he's an all around nice guy...it feels like everyday EVERYDAY mom nags him and yells at him...he talks back in a soft voice and...being the good guy that he is...he backs down eventually...
he asks a simple question...mom yells at him...he does this, mom yells at him...my brothers even know how i feel...they know the pain...dad's heart is always in the right place...he's a great father and...mom treats him like that...he deserves better...

i cant help it...im crying as i write this entry...mom's making it sound like it's my fault...my fault that she packed up and left us a couple hours ago...my fault that i wrecked this family...it hurts...it hurts me badly...is it wrong to help!? did i start it!? what did i do wrong!?

then she's always telling me to put my pride down...learn to cope with others and try to be as friendly as possible...learn to supress my anger...and many more noble actions while she herself doesn't practice them...in fact i've learned a few negative traits from her..after hearing and seeing them day after day..she yells alot...i yell...she has a short temper i have a short temper...at least i know how to supress it...i can only supress it for so long....i seldomly yell at people....and i know when i've hurt someone's feelings....
she also tells me that i need to see a psychiatrist and i have mental issues....now i think it's the other way around....my friends understand me, my brothers understand me, my cousins understand me, my girlfriend understands me, and even my dad understands me....why can't my mom understand me!?
i've pulled away from her along time ago....now she's made it worse...she doesn't realize how badly she's hurt me and the people around her especially my dad...im not the reian she used to know...im not that kid anymore..i've grown and matured...she doesn't understand that...she still treats me like a kid...
as i said i poured my heart out when i talked to her with my dad....i was crying...i was hurt....she still wouldn't listen...she was acting all childish and saying that it was my fault entirely...it was me and dad's fault...she didn't do anything wrong...she kept saying to accept her for who she is...how can we accept someone that hurts us!? more emotionally than physically....

she packed up and left...dad said she had to cool off...she says she's gone for good...is it so much to ask someone to change for the better!? i know the principle of accepting people for they really are but this was too much...harshly way too much...-reian out

Anime News - Blogging Tragedy - theOtaku.com

hmm...this actually is a tragedy...and im amazed how his web journal helped authorities catch the perp..hmm...when i first reads this article...i was shocked...this guy's actaully gone...an "average otaku" a blogger like myself and.....rest easy...fellow blogger.

ok to start things off this may be a little late for an e3(electronic entertainment expo) post since e3 wrapped up last week almost....but then again...it's my friggin blog so who cares!! hehe

hmm...this isn't my everyday normal post...no inspiration just me writing with a bunch of gamer jargons and adding a little confusion and technicallity to a simple game expectation...hehe
i'll start with some FYIs for some of you people...:D just cuz im a nice guy...
E3 is the "electronic entertainment expo" the largest gaming event of the year held in LA 3 days of gaming heaven...this is where all the sneak previews are all at...concept games...trailers, hands on...the works!! what makes E3 05' special is that...this year that the three new next-gen consoles are finally revieled...
the sony PS3
the Microsoft Xbox 360
the Nintendo Revolution

ok game-wise my e3 list is packed with gaming goodness....

PS2
Metal Gear Solid 3 : Substinence
those of you who are fans of the MGS series...know that MGS3 kicked ass...remember that MGS2:sonso of liberty had a substance version...which is the complete game plus loads of extras....this is similar....but this time we get to PWN other ppl online...snake style!!! w00t!!!



Kingdom Hearts II
yeah....i am a kingdom hearts fan...and i give kudos to square-enix for coming up with such a great concept...disney and final fantasy combine....whoa!!! so the sequel to KH looks tight....and i've seen beautiful screensshots where you play with auron n mulan..o.O...hehe



Namco X Capcom
i dunno what happened but it's like a cross between namco n capcom chars...so u'll see street fighter, tekken, megaman n soul calibur chars in one game...ooh not to mention xenosaga


NGC
The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess
EVERYONE loves Zelda...all the zelda games are fun and great to play....that's why the legend of zelda: the ocarina of time became game of the century.... i saw the trailer for this game last year and it blew me away now that i've seen alot more...im thinking of stealing an NGC just to play this game....oh and if you read this worthless blog...you'd see that on of the pics i posted with link that has the caption "starting anew" is a screencap of zelda:twilight princess


Misc.
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
ok this is a dvd that we've been waiting for AGES!!!! it's a sequel to FFVII.....two years after cloud and the gang saved the world....ok here's some screen caps....

im lacking something....i dont know what....im missing something have no idea why...im all confused...im happy but in reality im not...im not crying or anything...im not as sad as before...nothing like that...im confused...

hmm im thinking too much i guess too muc, my mind can't take it...all these thoughts...these voices in my head...im not in pain...mentally nor physically...no..i guess it's spiritually...
trying to keep myself busy but odds are...nothings happening...
i find myself staring at my front page....looking at the address bar not knowing where to go or what to do....
this my friends must be boredom.....
it's like whenever im busy....i find myself doing anything or everything i can think up.....know i have alot of time on my hands...i can't do anything...damn...
hmm...i dont find joy in playing SOCOM II online anymore...nor freestyling on THUG(tony hawk's underground) ...all the things i find joy in before...are long gone...i was simple...now im more complexed...yeah i've grown..alot i guess...hmm...i typed this entry out of boredom...i have a hunger for something which i cannot satisfy...i dunno...why i even bother...writing though...im confused...no one understands me...

my whole world crashed before me again, i got mad at one of the ya-ya's i yelled at her and of course...i got yelled at aswell....by my parents....

my mom thinks she understands me...she assumes i've got mental issues...no...she doesn't understand me...and i dont have mental issues...if i get mad...i get mad...i can supress the hatred for so long...i need to let it out...this thing with one of the ya-ya's has been bothering me for so long now...
i usually write what i feel when im mad or when im sad...this time, i didn't...you see...my mom doesn't know this...she doesn't know...what i do, what i write...she doesn't know me period...

i can't talk to her freely...i feel uneasy and uncomfortable, i grew up with her contradicting to my every opinion...i get scolded and lectured at...i get intimidated...it pulled me away from her a long time ago....

mom and dad leave us to work....it's admirable, i know it's hard for them to leave their kids go six thousand miles away and work for the sake of their future...
as the kids, we know why and there's nothing we can do to stop them...it's a necessity...plus i know im lucky...i live a great life...i have eveything i

What Ninja Class Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Anime-Kraze.org :: Version 3
ok i tested out another feature and...it looks like i'll be using more of the blog this feature on my google toolbar....
so here's one of my fave fansubs...anime-kraze...i've Dled a few of my early Chrno Crusade eps here and a bunch o' other stuff too...i gotta give props out to my buddy keitarou_the_immortal(his yahoo id) i met kei during my winmx days....he taught me so much torrent stuff...props man!...ok that's all for no...enjoy :)

shadows of heart overpower my soul,
standing over me, black as coal...
falling deeper my sorrow is filled,
living lies, my identity killed.

my world crumbles, i watch as it falls
never again shall i stand tall.
happiness is no longer an option for me,
my smiles have died, no laughter nor glee...

i wonder to myself, how come i am sad?
for me being gone,many are glad...
i feel i've wasted almost all my years...
i was happy and smiling and now im in tears.

one person can save me one person so pure,
she brightens me up...she may be my cure.
she made me smile again, her light i can feel...
for with her undying love, my sadness is sealed.

Standing still in time using this one moment to look at the past...one restless night gave enough time to ponder my thoughts...let out my sorrow...remember the joy and think about the sixteen years i've lived...

im a guy that has two worlds (as my 2nd grade teacher tells me) i have the philippines and the united states...i have family in both countries...i've gone to school here and there...and believe me...go school after school after school...it's tough...to lose friends...some might even be forever...
im not mad or anything...it's just that i want to share this...so my lifes pretty rough...my parents working there...knowing the "truth" about my dad, not seeing dad for at least half a year because he and mom work for our better future...
they say a good life has sacrifices...guess that was it...

me growing up...it's alright...i have friends i have family...i have support...

i pondered on the birthdays i've had...big deal i grow a year older...how can this year be different?...usually we have a party...i stopped that when i was 10...now it's either going out or family time...+ the usual blowout with friends...
how could this year be any different?...

i thought about my academics too...im pretty average...the kid that gets high marks...then loses interest...yeah...im kinda like most of you guys out there...

all the choices i've made...the good, the bad and the stupid ones...all the "what if's" "whys?" and "how comes" keep popping up...was eveything worth it?...those dumb times i've had with other people...where i humiliate myself...were those even necessary?...

as of now...this very moment...i feel sad...i dont have a reason to be it's weird...i was uber happy yesterday...and suddenly..boom...i started feeling blue...

it feels like something inside me is telling me that im this big burden...
im worthless to my parents...im a bad brother...im an outcast among my friends...im lazy...it's like every who gets near me...turns miserable...
the pain i feel in realizing this...unbearable...im heartbroken...and the sad part of it is...it true...i see proof...i know proof...

was i just an accident?...did my mom take pity on me when i was a baby?..is that why i am here?...
when was the last time i've made my parents proud of me?...long time...i've been scolded, humiliated and yelled at a million times more than being praised...

i feel so miserable..so dark...i want it to end...i have the power to end it...i can take my own life away at any time...it wouldn't harm anyone...everyone wins...i lose my pain...they lose me...
wishes like "i wish i was never born" often fill my thoughts...im not needed...im like this walking chunk of paper weight...i might add to more of this later...
i need to think more...

to start things off with this entry...probably you know how it feels to have deep feelings for someone right?the feeling of love, that warm fuzzy feeling you get when being with her, the moments you act stupid, simply because of the fact that you are uber happy at that moment.....simply wonderful isnt it? yeah...of course!

it's like every waking moment...you think about her...every second you are apart....you miss her...everyday you're together...you love her...^_^

it's like what this one movie said..."she's is my other half, together we're whole, so once you know how it feels to be whole you never want to go back to being a half" (well im not sure actually if that's the precise quote but heck i typed from my memory) i was like yeah she completes me...i've never been this happy in my life actually...
the fact that you know that there is this special someone that loves you, that cares for you, that misses you...gives you a reason to live...if possible live the rest of it with her....

it's not my type to make a mushy entry actually...well i did this just because the 28th is a very special day for me..:D

actually this is the first time i've actually "fallen"...it's like i feel different about her...this deep connection..unlike the others...it's irony/coincidence(im not sure because if i say it's destiny it's kinda corny) same star sign, same birth month, same interests, we're like identical inside but different on the outside...like my friend said that she is my female counterpart...and that time i was like "what!? who!?..nahh!"...pretty funny...and look where i am now....i love her! :D
i feel great and now im anout to wrap up this post...ok my final words...

tricia, i love you!!! and happy monthsary! :D

im thinking about changing my blog template...i dunno if i should proceed in making my own...or i'll just rip one out of blogskins

my candidiates in the skins i've seen so far are :
(click the linkis for previews)

kakashi 1
this is a simple hatake kakashi skin...green and has a big hatake kakashi pic with his visible sharingan..kinda cool

gundam seed
a great skin!! a kickass entrance and an animewebsite look....great pictures of the freedom gundam and has it's own avatars and stuff too...im not sure but i might use this is build my own customizations through the great layout...it's because i stink when it comes to layout >.<

sephiroth*
i've used this before and i might use it again....

squall - i need silence *
ok this is a little light for me but it's pretty cool...nice layout with the drop-downs and stuff...another candidate

*BROKEN LINKS (sorry for the inconvinience)

what are dreams? are dreams images that flash before our eyes when we sleep, memories
that play and reflect through our subconsciousness? dreaming is a state of imagining it also serves as a goal one we can accomplish in life....

dreams aren't childish well technically we dream almost every night...we dream of the future what we want...what we could wish for...yeah i dream all the time....
thinking about the past and looking forward to the future....dreaming of my memories and living up to my expectations in life.

you could be the kid who wants everything :"I want everything"
you could be the kid who wants to be somebody: "someday, the whole world will know my name"
you could be the kid who has something to prove: " i have something to prove"
you could be the kid who wants true love: " when will she come?", " when will he come?"
or
you could be like me: " i wanna see my name on the credits of some video game"

yeah i dream that...over and over..something i need to accomplish,something i need to prove something to fuel my faith, my self confidence, well that's my dream

nothing's childish...some of the greatest people who ever walked this earth...dreamt when they were just children...those dreams fueled their minds in helping them achieve whatever they accomplished... my friends dont forget...they went down in history as remarkable beings...

dreams are dreams...no defenite explanation but yeah....dreams are dreams

you can believe in fairy tales...heck nothing's wrong with that...dreaming that your genie will grant you your every wish...saving your damsel in distress...slaying your dragon...saving the world even.it wont exactly have all its "FANTASY" but in a modern sense it is possible...
nothing's ever childish about dreams, they are yours to create and yours to fullfill, no one and i say NO ONE has the right to take that away from you...

later!

My life is in all shades of Blue...

hehe ok...i tested out this "blog this" feature (located on the blogger toolbar) heeh and who better to test this out on than tricia!! :D hehe...i love this blog(and the person) hehe....it's all in blue.....bluish....bluey...(ok dont mind the terms) i know this gal like i know me....and all her posts are meaningful....all her rants are logical...and her template....simple yet advanced....look at all those scripts!! hehe kudos on the template and a-spec points with the posts....keep it up trish!!!

friends are friends...best buds, cliques...whatever you call your's...like i call mine alphabeto..friends are friends...and you cant change that

friends are great to have around...they make us who we are...they comfort us...we really enjoy being with them...everyone has friends...
everyday hanging out...doing happy-nonsense...doing useless fun stuff...hanging out at their houses everyday...every second...planning...playing...all those stuff you do with your friends...irreplaceable...seems like the bonding you guys have...unbreakable...right?..yup it is unbreakable....but it is WEAKENED...or something like that...

now this is where my entry really comes into perspective...

believe it or not i got the idea of writing this entry...when i watched the lion king 3...yeah...a great message of friendship...plus ironically...my friendster horoscope said something about this....

that fine line between romance and friendship

ok...back to the friendship thingy...your bond with your friends...as i said is unbreakable...friends are forever..dont forget that...although it is weakened...especially when your friend...starts having a relationship...a much deeper relationship with someone else...

im not saying that this is a bad thing...as a friend, you MUST be happy for him or her....but sooner or later...you'll realize...things arent what they used to be...
all the attention THAT was focused on YOU...is now focused on his or her special someone...and that's pretty devastating on your part...cuz you were happy and thought that nothing can go wrong, no one can get in the way...but...you were wrong someone DID get in the way...

i've felt it...and it kinda bothered me...but it got better through time...it's like this gap...for now he wants to spend time with her...and only her...and now i can only feel happy for them...

although now it's the other way around...i mean...now it seems that..i dont want to spend time with them...i want to spend time with her...and..only her... so a message for my boys...if any of you ever get to read this...you'll know how i felt before...and you MUST know how i feel now...

this gets better through time...i know...i've seen the final product...ok not exactly the final product but you get my point...


this is all i can write right now...i'll add stuff soon...

Unique, mystical, insightful and beautiful
You are a Snow sprite. Mysterious, and alluring you
naturally attract people to you, your like a
people magnet even though you most often wish
to be alone. Your love for cold climates and
snow has given you an insight into the beauty
few see. While most see bland white you see a
forest or blanket of sparkling white beauty. To
you life is something precious and you intend
to figure out its mysteries. You are very
mature and don't waste your intelligence on
childish games or people not worth your time
which can make you seem arrogant at times but
you are really just intent on saving your time
for better things. Your soul is very beautiful
if not a little shut up, you keep your emotions
hidden from everyone and therefore they don't
know what your capable of. You are a living
fantasy.


.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

a time to think a time for me...yeah..right now im all alone...listenin to music...thinking about stuff...and the thing is it's my brother's bday...
summer's here, the unbearable heat, all the swimming plans everyone has...hangin out...everyday(everyday!? so why am i here!?).everyone's dream summer is...pure fun...no problems no school just fun

a summer entry....how interesting....

summer's what you want it to be....you can make it :

a.dull - stay home and rot

b.productive - take up summer courses to polish up on skillz *i did that (the very foundation of my skillz)*

c.outgoing - go everywhere but home

d.friendly - best way to do it....GO TO CAMP!

e.adventurous - go places...do stuff...exotic maybe

d.expensive - get out of the country....or buy a country...or just spend spend spend in the country

e.studious - two words : SUMMER SCHOOL

f.profitable - two words again: summer job

g.happy - spend it your own way without the other choices hehe or better yet mix em all up without letter "E"

yeah summer's a great season....well all the greatness it has is the simple fact of not having no school....but summer's not complete with the letters F-U-N...that's simply my way of putting it.although there is a down side to everything...even summer vacation!
i mean a being there is one thing but...knowing that youneed to be there...that's something else...summer'll lose mojo if you're somewhere you dont belong...my point is you don't go somewhere you dont like and stay there for a long period of time right?

in my case knowing where you belong is paramount...
like my parents wanted me to go to the US to work for obvious reasons...but i wanted to stay here....because i know i belong here why? cuz of my friends...what friends? MY FRIENDS hehe...so i did stay here.
the sense of being where you belong...knowing when to blend in helps you adapt but the feeling of you never needing to blend in...yeah...that's a Big thumbs up in life...it's like you can live practically anywhere but you only have one home...and that home is where you ultimately (yeah keep an eye out for the term)ultimately belong...as for the others....SHELTER is the proper term i believe...for short i know i belong here...not the US...

on the other hand, one friend's case is different...he lives south WAY south lyk it takes 3 hrs from our place to their place so he lives there...and belongs there too (duh! his family's there) but he comes back here...stays at our house...he did for almost a month he has two homes in my books...he's sorta ..well not sorta...he IS a brother to me...so...i guess you can have two homes too...he belongs there with his family...and has a spot here at our place....

now my other friend...whom is very dear to me....she (so it's obvious now hehe)almost had to go somewhere far far away(not exactly like star wars but you get my point) which isn't that big of a deal cuz it's SUMMER!! but the thing is...it wasn't her choice which is painful, her dad wanted it...and without letting her decide..isn't fair...lucky thing her mom backed her up and eventually convinced her dad not to make her go...she knew she didn't belong there and her summer was almost ruined cuz of that...and summer's supposed to be for us...kinda. take summer into ur own hands and have fun

as i said earlier...summer is what you make it to be...and the state of belongingness is a big big factor...so happy vacation...i guess...

dunno if im talking in riddles..or anything...it's just something i felt i had to write about....ok till next time

I took this elemental quiz....i actually likedit...it's kinda neat....so uhmm here i'll share it :D

Your element is Water: Understanding, intelligent,
quiet and calm. You know who you are and no one
can change that. Usually quiet but only because
your listening, don't let anyone think you
haven't got an opinion! Your not quiet because
your shy or sad, your usually quiet because
your thinking. Your answers are well planned
and helpful so people generally seek your
advice. Your the perfect balance between
solitary and outgoing. But sometimes you need a
little time to yourself to sort out your
emotions and figure things out. You understand
the phrase 'sticks and stone' and rarely let
things get to you, whats that important for you
to have to get so upset over? You know what you
want out of life but are simply taking your
time and enjoying things. To you your life is
fine as it is, you can always change things
later if your not happy.


.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

Suikoden II's Riou...bearer of the bright shield rune...uhmmun that's all for now....im bored..

as darkness rises,my sadness reigns
my soul is haunted my anger gains
im so lost waiting for answers of life
ending one's sorrow, my blood on the knife

the fear of death's great,one which i overcome
i embrace my ending moments, and maybe missed by some
a sacrifice to sorrow, my life about to end
for god said not now, and a messenger he sends

it was you of all people, my darkness turns to day
my life now has a purpose,i have so much left to say
about my past and present,my future it can wait
you taught me how to love,you took away my hate

my shattered soul in shadows a light it now bares
completes my inner being, i feel your utmost care
my life i now value, for you are dear to me
i really really love you i wish that you can see

i'll never leave your side, i'll never leave you dear
keeping every promise, holding every tear
you're my source of living, you're my source of might
i whisper that i love you as i hold you close tonight...