10/28/2005 07:17:00 PM
By Reian
hmm....poured so hard this morning and being exhausted from last night...i decided to take a break from school....
i know i could've done more and probably just went to the "enigma" party but no....i didn't, i just stayed home and rested...hate this MIT quarterm...
...ahh 8 months...last time i posted on the 28th of a month was in april...*i think*well here goes...
hehe my thoughts are pretty clouded right now...and i can't express myself clearly but i'll try my hardest...
being in my first ever relationship with someone i really like...made me think..."what should i do"? or "am i doing this right?"...but as it progressed i soon figured out that there are no rules...and all you need to remember was... 1. love her and 2.be yourself....that's why she fell inlove with you in the
first place...was because u were being yourself....
whenever you're with her you feel ever so happy....soon you realize that you're happiest at that same moment....and feel so incomplete when you part...
then you start talking to her on the phone nonstop....at night, during the day...even early mornings...you feel comfort whenever you hear her voice....and then you soon feel that you can't go a day without talking to her...
....love is like that....
ups and downs are also a factor....
you win some...you lose some...having to understand everything....understanding that she can't always be free, she can't always be there for you...you cant always spend time with her no matter how much you miss her.....
it has limitations you must follow.....forcing you to wait.....sometimes longer than expected...
there are disappointments and they really can be heartbreaking....but those are "challenges" i guess that we must overcome....even if your prayers aren't answered...
mistakes you've made come and haunt you....and you really start regretting them by the moment...when this occurs you can't sleep .... feel as sorry as possible for the sin committed...
well...that's how i felt the past 8 happy months....
sorry for the crappy present tricia....for all the mistakes i've made and all the times i wasn't there for you...for the disappointments and everything...
thank you for the love....love you alot ^^ i miss you too...happy monthsary...
10/18/2005 07:53:00 PM
By Reian
a cross i bear within i fight, i've lost to darkness,said goodbye to light. i drift endlessly and wait for despair... for the patience of death i tempt to dare... i look above the dark night sky, for all i've been was one big lie... i am nothing and nothing i shall be only my dissappearance can comfort me... i wish it to end my suffering begone... i do not want to see another new dawn... i'm hated by many...by family and friends... no one to turn to my own wounds i mend... no comfort of loved ones, so cold and alone... in solitude i live, my dark skills i hone... i fight my sorrow and suppress my pain... my tears as they fall my effort in vain... my heart is bleeding, my feelings i write my tormented mind foresaw my plight... this melancholy poem may be my last... for before a new day i am part of the past...
10/17/2005 10:48:00 PM
By Reian
it took me quite a while to think up a new topic to write about...my thoughts have been clouded lately...there are ups and downs...laughter and tears....oh, and a long commute home...
when you think about society it's always been divided yes? the rich, the poor, the middle, the inner filling...you're either one or the other...the so-called "status symbol" everyone looks at....you wear this brand you buy there, you eat here, drink coffee there...it's what everyone looks at...it's pretty pathetic to judge people for what they wear, where they eat or what they have...just remember the immortal saying, " dont judge a book by it's cover"...
society's pretty messed up nowadays...families are divided into localities, it's either you're in the urban city "barangay" or in a high security "subdivision"...that doesn't stop there... in the barangays you're either legit or in the "squatters area"....
kids are classified into "educated" or "not educated"....
schools are classified into "public" or "private"....
and believe me it goes on...
actually...i didn't intend to write about "society" as a whole in this post...i'll write about that later on...
i spend lots of time at my school lately during my break i realized something....
it has come to my thought that there are a bunch of classifications of students...not just in MIT but in any school...
i'll give out all i can for now...
here i go :
*the scholars - yeah they're the perfect start...smart kids that pay less tuition because of their scholastic achievement...rock on scholars!!
*the nerds - ok ok these type of people have no social life whatsoever...they know one topic and one topic alone....school...they're the type of guys that'll correct your every mistake...answer your every question...
-nerds have 2 classifications in my books :
a. smart-ass - they'll correct you alright...they'll make you look like an idiot too....
b. nice - self explanatory....
*the jocks - ahh they ever-so-loving sports heroes of the school...the varsity players...i dunno but it seems like if you're a player for your varsity team...it's kinda like an elite title...
side note: i dunno why stereotypically, jocks are the dumb sports buffs that think they're kings or the pretty boy heart throb that are always shown in teen movies....modern jocks (at least the ones i know) arent really like that...
*the snobs - self explanatory...mostly made up of girls...the group who *think* that they are the prettiest among the bunch...
*the plastics - hehe a relative of the "snob species" well this group composes of people that think they're hot but in reality they wont admit it...people that are full of lies that they've lost their true identity within them...(i could've just put this in the "snobs" section but i want to make this post longer hehe) just watch mean girls i guess...(i havent hehe)
*the student council - the government within one campus...you get the idea....
*the dancers - you guessed it...they dance...
*the journalists - cant have a school paper without em....
*the actors - do i even have to type!?
*the singers - ....guess what they do....
*lovers - yeah those who go to school not only for the fine education but for love aswell hehe
*the techies - ahh the techies....the computer guys, the people you run to when your pc acts funny...guys that have mp3 players and laptops *looks in the mirror*...nuff of these guys...hehe
*gamers - every school has gotta have a large population of gamers...guys that can talk for hours on end about final fantasy or tekken...you a name a game...they know em...
*otakus - haha there are also alot of anime junkies out there...anime...anime....anime...w00t!! people who live and breathe anime :D...
*book worms - people who escape reality by book...:D
*class clowns - guys that love making the class laugh...at any occassion....ANY!!!
*perverts - they are real....unfortunately...
*class dunce - slow learners.....SLOW!! hehe harsh...
*lazy bastards - they love doing work...NOT!
*stereotypes - ....you know what they are...
*bullies - the lowest of all animals....those pathetic wretched big boned morons....
no matter how much you think of it we are what we are ...see which class you are in...( no biggie you can be in whatever class you wish... an otaku/gamer/lover or an scholar/gamer)
hehe that's all i can think up right now....if you want me to add some stuff feel free to comment or uhmm tag...:D
10/02/2005 01:39:00 PM
By Reian
it seems like i only get to post once a month nowadays hehe...i've been down in the dumps for a while now...my whole break feels...worthless...it starts out with me failing both my math class...i did try and i know i tried all i could to pass but it wasn't enough.....i'm just dumb when it comes to math...i stink...i've been down about that and i kept thinking about it all week but...i only feel more sorrow...it's like im being pulverized inside...now, this term i get to take up trigonometry and college algebra again....damn....it doesn't stop there though....emotionally and personally it gets worse...have you ever waited for something for so long only to find out that you'll only have to wait longer?....well to keep it simple you wait and build up excitement for something only to get disappointed in the end...you know that feeling right?...that's how i feel at the moment....i try everyweek and lately everyweek....it's always a "no"....yeah i do get upset and i try with all my might to keep a positive perspective on things....weeks pass by and still i get a no...it always ends with an "im sorry" and me saying,"it's ok" but why does my heart feel crushed?...heck for a guy like me...i even cry at night...i keep wondering why?....or what i have done wrong...or how life's unfair...or maybe it's karma...the thing is what did i do to deserve this?...i guess ron was right....it's really hard for a guy to show his true feelings.....or is it because i've learned to keep everything to myself...why do i wait only to end up waiting longer?...it's hard...and it's not exactly getting easier...it gets harder by the day...as i've posted before....waiting is life's essence....all i can do is wait longer....i guess i'll have to keep trying then...:)sorry about the messed up entry fellas...it's just...i had to let it out...even if it were by means of jumbled words
