im starting to hate my life....i put out lots of effort...i do everything i can...i come early...i finished everything...i came expecting to have a very good time.........but life screws me over...

this always happens....why is it whenever a friend invites me over i come, invites me to go out i come...and eveytime it's my turn to invite them...oftentimes they bail...they say they have other plans...i've always ignored how my friends disappoint me when they do that...

the pathetic thing is....it always happens to me...

today was no excemption...i finished my homework so i wouldn't worry about anything else...i came early...i came there expecting to spend time with her......i was dead wrong....

they were inviting me to her friend's bday...i was like why?... i wanna spend time with her and her alone....what am i going to do in a gathering?...i'd feel out of place...i wouldn't have a good time...i finished my homework the whole morning for me to get permission for her to come...i was stood up....again.....

even though it meant A WHOLE LOT to me if she came with me....i said no....it's her friend's bday the friend that she cares about so much...i couldn't take her away....either one of us was going to get hurt....it was better that it were me...

i love her so much.....i miss her alot too.....the sad thing is...no matter how hard i try...it seems like i cant spend time with her.....this always happens to me......why!?

another ruined day in the life of reian....no one cares about me anyway.....